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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I will be called 'Amma'!

Amma = Mother in Kannada (and possibly a few other Indian languages) and I'm just that for my little girl! At times it's hard to believe that I'm now a mum. Life has changed, and how!

Our once (fairly) neat and organised house is now strewn with various 'baby-soothing' paraphernalia, as if screaming "there's a new baby in this house!" There are little pieces of clothing hanging on the airing rack, a play mat that has so many bright colours all in one place (that would be a fashion designer's worst nightmare!), a contraption that softly bounces and sings melodies (and literally gulps down batteries) and other bits 'n' pieces that suddenly seem almost out of place in a living room filled with seemingly 'all grown up' decor. It's almost like a giant stork did indeed come flying by and drop off a huge bundle!

It's only been about a month and half since Sia came into our lives (into our home, actually. She's been a part of our lives since the day we found out we were having her) and already, life is SO different. Don't get me wrong, we like DIFFERENT :-) Yes, there have been trying times - like when she just cried 'n' cried and we didn't know why. It's heartbreaking, really, when your baby does that. And especially if it's at some ungodly hour at night when all you want is silence and some sleep, I swear, all you want to do is call the hospital and see if they'll take your baby back! I know, I know, I sound like a horrible mother! But heck, that's reality for you! We love Sia to bits and she is our precious little darling, but oh lord the screaming! But then, there are also times when she looks at me with the most, I'm telling you, the most helpless look in her eyes that say 'please don't leave me, ever' that I just want to hold her tight against my chest and never set her down. And when she hungrily and thankfully latches on at feeding times, I just want to say to her over and over again that I will always care for her, forever and ever as long as I'm alive, sob! Am I being hysterical or what? Well, I guess being a mother (and for the first time) pretty much whacks around your hormones all over the place. But it's a beautiful, wonderful, magical feeling! Overwhelming and scary, yes. But also 'oh-so-beautiful'.

Yes, the 'C' word will appear quite often, you know - compromise. But suddenly, it is not a compromise anymore, it's just something I choose to do - like the other day when I was out shopping, I was looking at these chic wedge sandals and automatically picked them off the shelf to try. Boy! did those heels make my legs look good, after almost a year! Well, then my 'motherly-brain' kicked into action and told me off in a stern voice, "Hey! put those back right now! Do you think you want to wear those while you balance a little baby on your shoulder and hold on to the nappy bag in the other hand and try to look graceful at the same time??" So then, with a long sigh I steered the pram (what? of course I was out shopping with my little girl) towards the aisle with the more practical, flat shoes. They're cute too, you know!
Another, comp-err, no thing I choose to do is to eat sensibly. Heck, I love my fries and wedges (the potato ones now, heh) but every time I greedily hover near a Hungry Jacks or McDs, my little girl's pleading face comes flashing into my mind and she seems to say, 'Amma please don't! I'm not familiar yet with how farts work  and I don't like feeling all gassy in my little tummy!'. Now, what do I do? Choose to eat fruit salad instead (not that I don't give in to temptation at times, though). Plus it'll do me good. I do need to lose all that 'happy weight' I gained when I was pregnant and eating for the whole country, not just for two. I mean, secretly, I do want that coffee mug that husby bought for me to make some sense, you know, the pink one that says 'yummy mummy'? *wink*
What can I say, my hostess skills also seem to be in a deep slumber these days. What?? Call someone home when the house looks like a commercial laundromat? No way! Seriously, there's clothes everywhere!! Some washed, some airing, some folded, some to be washed...I'm telling you I almost have nightmares where clothes zombies are chasing me! Okay, so yeah, friends who are genuine friends wouldn't really mind all the mess, they would come to see us and not to judge, but then what would I feed them? My cooking has been reduced to 'one pot wonders' lately. Poor husby eats whatever with admirable empathy, but I wouldn't want to impose on our friends.
And then, ahem, talking about grooming. Forget about long 'cleanse-exfoliate-tone-moisturise' routines or kohl lined eyes or colour tinted lips, I'll be glad if I can walk out of the house wearing something decent (not track pants and a tee) that does not have a giant blob of spit-up on the shoulder! These days I seem to be competing with husby for the 'bush(iest) eyebrows' title and if husby asks me once more if I'm all aboard for Movember I'm going to smack him! Would I like a relaxing (and clean up) session at the beauty salon? Yes, please.
Then there's the crafting I miss. The other day I said to myself that I'm the kind of mum who can make things work. So I decided to work on some Christmas craft projects. I fished out some paper and card stock and just about settled down to cut and glue when Miss Little decided she had napped long enough and cried for me to pick her up and give her some cuddles. [Oooh I love cuddle time, by the way :-)] There went my 'I'll-make-handmade-Christmas-presents' idea! Actually, the paper trimmer, paper, etc are still lying on the floor in the other room, right where I left them. What did I tell you about my house before? Don't judge!

Oh, life has changed, yes, yes! It has! I love it, I really do.  Many things I had taken for granted earlier- I might have to give them a miss. But my darling little baby girl is such a blessing! I'm looking forward to a great life full of learning, realising and discovering with her. So although I can't hold up a real glass of red wine (duh-huh?), here's to beautiful and precious babies and our lives being happier and brighter with them!


  1. Beautiful piece of writing. Only a mother can write this and a mother can understand it fully.. Have been there, done it All and doing it all over again a second time:) Rohini